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DaNiRey
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Name: DaNiRey
Country: United States
State: New York
Metro: Brooklyn
Gender: Female
Interests: Reading, Writing, Movies, Photography, Trying to lose weight, Chillin w/ da peeps, Chatting, Buying Shoes, (Sports is getting in the picture but just watching not actually me playing) there's more but I can't think of it all right now...
Expertise: Heritage, Culture, Mankind.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Media
Message: message me
AIM:  Souls0Blue05
Yahoo:  crazyBlustar
Member Since:
1/21/2004
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| Something is definitely wrong with me. I have so much shit to deal
with. Sometimes I feel like I just am making a big deal out of the
usual but for real I dont feel right. I'm kinda worried about
whats been going on lately. I feel like its being lost. Maybe I'm
boring all of a sudden. Maybe the real me just isnt enough. It never
is... is it? I don't know. Maybe I'm just being fussy. I hate being so
damn broke too. Like what da hell?! I have a full time job and I feel
like I do nothing but pay bills and have nothing. People don't seem to
understand where I am coming from and the people that I think will be
there to comfort me just seem to forget that I need them and that I
wont say it. I know its my own fault because I need to speak up. But I
feel like either no one cares or that I am boring them or bothering
them with my own business.
Straight up I know something foul is in the air.... Nothing with me
ever lasts more than 3 months with out drama or fucking up. I hope I'm
not calling for something to strike with the powers that be but I got
that horrible feeling in me. Something is not right. I feel like I am
going to end up so hurt and I am so scared. I've been let down so many
times that I don't know what to expect. I don't know what else to say
except that I hope I am all wrong about this.
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| Been gone for a minute. I decided to give online and the internet a
break. Been with him for 2 months now and its going well. I get nervous
sometimes. Scared... I dont know what to expect or if i should even be
thinking about it. I still feel down on myself sometimes. The quiet is
coming back. I try to maintain myself above the surface by focusing on
work and the important things and staying ahead of the game.... but
sometimes i cant help and look into the shadows and at my past and get
sad.
I'm okie tho. I really like him. He's been here for me, actually shows concern. The quiet bothers him so i try to keep it back.
thats all for now.
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| Leaf blowing in the wind. Thats what I feel like lately.... more like
the leaf that got caught in the chain linked fence... not on one side
but not on the other either. There isnt any stability in all senses of
the word. I feel useless at times, incapacitated at others, and
insecure always. Sometimes I where the perfect mask but sometimes the
strings come undone and my truth shows. Tears and all. Always sad
lately.... trying so hard to keep the faith, but that seems like a
battle all on its own.
I know... I have alot going for me... It happens to everyone...
You will be okie... But its just so hard looking from the outside and
having all these emotions all at once. Its overwhelming. I'm dealing
with it, but I'm getting tired. I don't know what else I can do.
I'm so mean to everyone... Like all attitude an take out my fustration
on the wrong people. I'm scared of ending up alone but its bad because
either way.... I end up pushing people away.
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| listening to the rain. @ laurel's.
Thunder, lighting and raindrops against the glass... A glass of
wine, on the futon... chillin. wish i had someone to sit here with. its
kinda soothing tho... to hear and see this.
lonely... but i'm dealing. nite.
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| My boy just told me something that I already know but forgot. And it
kinda hit me in the right place: Woke up with a smile, striving to go
to sleep with a smile. Be Happy and Just Be.
That makes so much sense. Here I am racking my brain.... making life
harder than it needs to be and letting all the good stuff go
unacknowledged.
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